love notes from God

from the roof of my old farm house, it felt like i could see every star in the universe. i know that i couldn't, but that's what it felt like.
i used to climb out my window on to my roof at night and sit there for hours, just staring in wonder at the sky. awed by the greatness of our God. i felt in those moments complete joy. i felt surrounded by love.
did you know that there are 100 thousand million stars in the Milky Way alone? that's not even counting how many there are in the other galaxies. that's amazing!
one of my all-time favorite past times, is star gazing. it always has been.
when i was little, my daddy would take my sister and i out to look at the stars and planets through the telescope. (i probably get my love of stars from him.) he knows all the planets and that good stuff. i just know i like the stars.
i can't tell you where orion is or which one is mars. i just love to look at the lights in the dark abyss.
it is just amazing to me that God put all those stars there for me to look at! it's like having a trillions of little love notes right there in front of you!
in early college my best friends paul, greg and zane and i would lay in the back of paul's pick up and look at the stars. there were times we were completely silent, but then there were times that we were overflowing with words about the greatness of our Father.
later in my college years, some friends of mine from the bible chair and myself found a field north of town that we would go lay in to star-gaze. once again, there were times of complete silence as we lay there pondering. we were all in unison in our thoughts.
i've never wondered why i like the stars.
i've always been taken aback by their beauty.
and i've been able to share my thoughts and feelings about them with others who felt much the same way. i've never really had to explain myself.
until last year.
a guy that i was dating and i were discussing our like's and dislike's one evening and i said that i loved looking at the stars. he didn't really say anything. so, i asked him if he liked looking at them. he said, and i'll never forget, "what's to look at?". i was stunned. i didn't know how to respond to this.
my normal response would be to talk about how beautiful they are and how awesome it is that God loved us so much that He would create them for us.
but, this time, that wouldn't work. you see, this man didn't believe in God. so to him, those stars were just...there.
this broke my heart. i mean, it really hurt.
i look at those twinkling lights and see a loving and powerful and wonderful God.
and he sees...nothing.
i read a beautiful love story.
he sees...darkness.
i wanted to cry. i wanted him to know the joy i felt. the love i had. but he couldn't.
everytime i look at the stars now, i think of him. we are no longer dating. in fact, we don't speak at all anymore. but, i still wish for him to be able to see what i see. to know what i know.
i want him to see more than stars. i want him to see the love story that God has for him.
i want him to have his breath taken away by the thought that someone created millions upon millions of stars JUST FOR HIM. i want him to know what a gift that is.
someday, i hope he sees them. REALLY sees them.
i hope that some still night, he turns his face to the millions of glistening pin-points of light and really, truly sees them.

i don't get to the stars much anymore where i live. and i've been missing them.
i think i'll find a place just for me and my stars, like the one i had on my roof or that old field.
i'll find somewhere that i can just be.
i'll go and i'll sit in quiet adoration.
i'll sit and i'll read my love notes.