Saturday, January 30, 2010


So I finally added a couple more chapters to the Life on Indiana blog. Check em out and tell me what you think!

Thursday, January 21, 2010

oh bob dylan

goodness i love bob dylan.
that man, he's got a way with words.
some don't like his voice, but i do.
i just love how real he is when he sings.

i've had some of his lyrics swimming in my head for a while now.
it's amazing how someone who has never met you can write something or sing something that fits you.

"and she aches just like a woman,
but she breaks just like a little girl"

i've felt a connection to those lines since the first time i heard them.

i try to so hard to pretend i'm strong all the time.
i try to be a "grown up".
i strive to be the one with the positive attitude or the smile on her face.
sure, i joke in a cynical manner, but when it comes to those oh-so-important times where a positive attitude is what is needed, i try to be the one who has it.
i work on "acting my age".
i try not to show too much emotion and avoid being a "baby" in certain situations.

but, i have such BIG feelings.
such STRONG emotions.

when i love, i love so big that it consumes me. and i want those that i love to know right then how much i adore them.
when i'm happy, it overflows onto my face so that the world knows and i just want to dance or scream or giggle and be silly.
and when my heart aches, it aches with such an enormity that sometimes i feel it will literally break.

as i get older, i learn so much more than i ever wanted to know about this world.
i have the knowledge of a grown woman.
i have the strength of an adult.
but, still, there are times that when i hurt, i break just like that little girl i was years ago.

sometimes, i feel ashamed of FEELING so much.
i get onto myself for be "overly emotional".
but, maybe, it's okay to feel things the way i do.
maybe it just means i care that much more.
perhaps it's okay to have that faith like a child.

so, yes, i do ache just like a woman but i still break just like a little girl.

so please, if i give you a piece of my heart, handle it with care.