i love the beatles.
i'd say that they are in my top 5 favorite bands.
i enjoy all of their music. throughout the decades.
and i liked their solo stuff too.
i love john, paul, george and don't forget good ole ringo.
i think that they had so much beautiful talent collectively and separately.
with that being said, everyone knows the song "imagine" by john lennon.
it's a beautiful melody. and the lyrics are a nice concept, i guess.
when i was in college in my intro. to theatre class, our final project was to take the song "imagine" and design a set, costumes and act around it. it really was a fun project. as a group, we tried our best to make everything very equal and well, vague. our concept was one of unity. but, like i said, it was pretty vague.
my professor for that class was the exact opposite of me. where i am conservative and a christian, todd was extra liberal and an atheist. but, he was one of my favorite professors of my whole college career. he made me think. because our opinions differed so greatly, i had to really know why i believed what i believed so as to be able to have an educated argument, err, discussion with him.
and we had a few of those.
but never the less, we got along really well.
i learned about theatre, but i more importantly i learned about myself. he challenged me and i appreciate that.
anyway, todd had us do this project, right. i knew why he picked that song. it's so todd. "no religion, no heaven, no possessions, no war" etc, etc.
and as stated before, while those are all nice concepts, are they really that great?
here are the lyrics:
Imagine there's no heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today...
Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one
Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...
You may say I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one
yes, it would be nice if their were no possessions, because then there would be no greed, right? that's ideal. but i think we would still find something to be greedy about. we're humans.
and no hell? yeah, that would be wonderful, but then like it says, there would also be no heaven. not so ideal.
nothing to kill or die for? okay. but if there is nothing worth killing or dying for, then what is there to live for? this is the lyric that got to me the most. you would think it would be the one about heaven, but no, it was actually this one.
because without having something to die for what's the point of living or even having a heaven?
it would be wonderful if we could all get along. totally agreed.
it would be fantastic if people didn't have to be hungry. i get it.
it would be super if we weren't punished for our wrongs. okay.
but without all of those things, would we really be able to appreciate what we have? would we appreciate this life? truly appreciate it, if it were completely void of hardships and trials and choices and consequences?
i would have to say no, we wouldn't.
it's okay to be a dreamer. i'm a dreamer too.
but i just have a different dream.
one of love. and joy.
love for those people in different countries, different social classes, different backgrounds and religions.
and joy. joy in the toughest of circumstances. joy in the storm. joy in our diversity.
so, mr. lennon, i will have to respectfully disagree with you and not join you in your imagining.
instead, i'm going to live here in the now and deal with the reality i've been dealt with. i'm not going to dream of a perfect world, i'm just going to do my best to make mine better.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
Welcome Home
Emma was crying. I'm not sure what happened, but my 1 year old great niece was not a happy camper. I sat at the dining room table with the rest of the girls in my family, eating Sunday dinner when we heard the familiar wimper.
There is always the sound of children's laughter or crying or whining in our house on Sunday. And normally, one of the mommy's gets up from their meal and gathers the crying child in their arms, wipes their tears and makes it all better.
For the past year the mom's have been on 24 duty without a break. The daddy's have been very busy overseas. Absent from our homes, but not our hearts and minds.
This Sunday was different than the past 52, though. None of the mommy's jumped up. They just continued their meals.
But, Emma stopped crying.
I looked over to see what had happened and there was Uncle Kory with baby Emma in his arms, wiping the tears.
At that moment it hit me, they are home. All the boys are really home for good. Not just on leave, but really, truly, home.
I've felt like I couldn't breathe for the past year. And if I felt that way as an Aunt, I can't even begin to imagine what the wives, kids, parent's and grandparent's have felt like.(God bless them. They are so strong.)
I kept it all in. My head knew they were gone. I told everyone about my family that was overseas. But I never really let my heart know. I knew, if given the chance to really sit down and think about them being away, to think about where they were, I would break.
I would lose it.
So, I pretended for 52 weeks that I was strong. I told myself that everything was just fine.
And now it is. They are back. They are safe. No more pretending. Our family is complete once again. No more counting down Sundays.
Later that afternoon, I just sat in the living room and smiled. So content. To my left sat Lance and Carly and Emma. On the couch were Kory and Teri next to Dusty and Kesha. Gloria was attending to son Mason, while Chad was coming inside from chatting with some of the guys. Every single boy was in his right place. He was home.
I don't get to see them every week like I used to now that I live in Texas, but just knowing they are back is enough for me. My heart can beat again. My lungs can fully take in the breath that was held for so long.
I can imagine them all gathered around the dinner table, laughing and telling stories.
Talking about bait shops and bands.
Discussing school and work.
Telling the kids to get out of the lily pond for the hundreth time.
Holding crying babies.
They are all there and accounted for.
We are thankful for where they have been and what they have done. They were truly missed.
But now we can finally say, welcome home sweet boys.
Welcome home.
There is always the sound of children's laughter or crying or whining in our house on Sunday. And normally, one of the mommy's gets up from their meal and gathers the crying child in their arms, wipes their tears and makes it all better.
For the past year the mom's have been on 24 duty without a break. The daddy's have been very busy overseas. Absent from our homes, but not our hearts and minds.
This Sunday was different than the past 52, though. None of the mommy's jumped up. They just continued their meals.
But, Emma stopped crying.
I looked over to see what had happened and there was Uncle Kory with baby Emma in his arms, wiping the tears.
At that moment it hit me, they are home. All the boys are really home for good. Not just on leave, but really, truly, home.
I've felt like I couldn't breathe for the past year. And if I felt that way as an Aunt, I can't even begin to imagine what the wives, kids, parent's and grandparent's have felt like.(God bless them. They are so strong.)
I kept it all in. My head knew they were gone. I told everyone about my family that was overseas. But I never really let my heart know. I knew, if given the chance to really sit down and think about them being away, to think about where they were, I would break.
I would lose it.
So, I pretended for 52 weeks that I was strong. I told myself that everything was just fine.
And now it is. They are back. They are safe. No more pretending. Our family is complete once again. No more counting down Sundays.
Later that afternoon, I just sat in the living room and smiled. So content. To my left sat Lance and Carly and Emma. On the couch were Kory and Teri next to Dusty and Kesha. Gloria was attending to son Mason, while Chad was coming inside from chatting with some of the guys. Every single boy was in his right place. He was home.
I don't get to see them every week like I used to now that I live in Texas, but just knowing they are back is enough for me. My heart can beat again. My lungs can fully take in the breath that was held for so long.
I can imagine them all gathered around the dinner table, laughing and telling stories.
Talking about bait shops and bands.
Discussing school and work.
Telling the kids to get out of the lily pond for the hundreth time.
Holding crying babies.
They are all there and accounted for.
We are thankful for where they have been and what they have done. They were truly missed.
But now we can finally say, welcome home sweet boys.
Welcome home.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Texas oh Texas
holy mr. cow! becoming a texas resident is harder than becoming a u.s. citizen, i'm pretty sure.(don't even get me started on the u.s. citizenship thing. whole other blog, right there.)
ANYWAY, to get my insurance agent's license switched from oklahoma to texas, i have to be a texas resident. duh. no problem, right? wrong. geesh, is it a process!
to become a texas resident i need my texas dl. simple? nope.
to get my texas dl, i need to have my car titled and registered in the state of texas, show evidence of my birth, have my social security card, and surrender my ok dl.
i lost my social security card so i have to apply for a new one.
to get my car titled and registered in the state of tx, i have to have my car inspected.
sooo....i'm applying for my new ssn card. then, i'm having the ole equinox inspected. next, i'll get the title and registration. THEN, i'll get my texas dl. last, i'll get my texas agent's license.
oh yeah, and i had to get fingerprinted for the agent's license!
boy, who knew moving one state down would be so much work?
anyway, it will be well worth it (i'm sure) when i finally get it all done. at least i have a game plan, right?
:)
ANYWAY, to get my insurance agent's license switched from oklahoma to texas, i have to be a texas resident. duh. no problem, right? wrong. geesh, is it a process!
to become a texas resident i need my texas dl. simple? nope.
to get my texas dl, i need to have my car titled and registered in the state of texas, show evidence of my birth, have my social security card, and surrender my ok dl.
i lost my social security card so i have to apply for a new one.
to get my car titled and registered in the state of tx, i have to have my car inspected.
sooo....i'm applying for my new ssn card. then, i'm having the ole equinox inspected. next, i'll get the title and registration. THEN, i'll get my texas dl. last, i'll get my texas agent's license.
oh yeah, and i had to get fingerprinted for the agent's license!
boy, who knew moving one state down would be so much work?
anyway, it will be well worth it (i'm sure) when i finally get it all done. at least i have a game plan, right?
:)
Friday, September 25, 2009
Success vs. Faithfullness
"God doesn't call us to be successful, God calls us to be faithful." Mother Theresa
Goodness, she was a mighty wise woman, that Mother Theresa.
Here I have been, searching for "success". What is that anyway? Who defines success?
The world see's it as wealth, possessions, social status, fame, blah, blah, blah.
But really, what is it?
We are all looking for that job that results in a large income. Or the one that gets our name out there so people will know just who Carrie Carney is. We want the car, the house, the clothes.
Some people don't think they are successful unless they have the spouse, the kids, and all that goes along with that.
I admit, I've believed that I wasn't successful because I didn't have all of the above.
But not anymore. Nope. I don't define success that way.
I believe that I'm successful because...I'm happy.
Yep, I'm happy. I don't have a 6 figure income or a sports car or designer clothes. I don't have a husband or kids. And guess what...I'm still happy. Shocking, I know.
I have been blessed beyond all comprehension. God has given me more than I will ever deserve.
The world might look at me--a 28 year old woman who is STILL SINGLE, no kids, insurance job, average automobile, known to no one other than family and friends-and think that I am extremely UNsuccessful. And that's okay. You know why?
Because, I'm not living for this world.
A good friend had told me several times that I need to stop searching for the "dream job"(who even knows what that is anyway?)and work for the Lord. I can do insurance(or whatever else) and still serve my Lord and do amazing things for His kingdom.
I don't have to be a record producer or a famous writer.
I don't have to go to Africa or India.
I can live right here and do what I do, and still serve my Father.
Now, I think it's great for those record producers, writer's, singers, over-seas missionaries, etc. to do what they do. That's where they are supposed to be.
But I don't think I should beat myself up because that's not where I am.
God gave us all different gifts. If He were to have given us all the same one, gosh, how boring would that be?
Mother Theresa lived in poverty. She didn't own a car, she wore the same clothes all the time, she didn't have a record deal. She wasn't "successful" according to this world.
She served her God to the fullest. She put herself aside for others.
So yes, she was faithful. But, who says she wasn't successful as well?
I would say that Mother Theresa and the like are more successful because they are faithful.
Look at all the lives they've touched. Look at the joy that they've brought to others and the comfort they've given. Look at the gift that they've shared. That's success right there, friends.
So, maybe God doesn't call us to be successful, just faithful. But in doing so, He blesses us, like always, and makes us successful through our faith.
He's a neat guy, that God.
So, I'm gonna live, you guys. And I'm gonna be happy. Maybe I won't be that wife or mother or author or editor that I used to dream of being. Dreams change. And that's okay. My dreams now are to be as joyful and loving and kind in all situations as possible.
I want to be a light. I want to share His gift. I want to be blessing to Him. I want to be successful in my faith.
That's enough for me.
"He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" and, I know He will. He'll continue to bless me when I least expect Him too. He'll make dreams I didn't even know that I had, come true. He'll make me successful.
I just need to be faithful.
Goodness, she was a mighty wise woman, that Mother Theresa.
Here I have been, searching for "success". What is that anyway? Who defines success?
The world see's it as wealth, possessions, social status, fame, blah, blah, blah.
But really, what is it?
We are all looking for that job that results in a large income. Or the one that gets our name out there so people will know just who Carrie Carney is. We want the car, the house, the clothes.
Some people don't think they are successful unless they have the spouse, the kids, and all that goes along with that.
I admit, I've believed that I wasn't successful because I didn't have all of the above.
But not anymore. Nope. I don't define success that way.
I believe that I'm successful because...I'm happy.
Yep, I'm happy. I don't have a 6 figure income or a sports car or designer clothes. I don't have a husband or kids. And guess what...I'm still happy. Shocking, I know.
I have been blessed beyond all comprehension. God has given me more than I will ever deserve.
The world might look at me--a 28 year old woman who is STILL SINGLE, no kids, insurance job, average automobile, known to no one other than family and friends-and think that I am extremely UNsuccessful. And that's okay. You know why?
Because, I'm not living for this world.
A good friend had told me several times that I need to stop searching for the "dream job"(who even knows what that is anyway?)and work for the Lord. I can do insurance(or whatever else) and still serve my Lord and do amazing things for His kingdom.
I don't have to be a record producer or a famous writer.
I don't have to go to Africa or India.
I can live right here and do what I do, and still serve my Father.
Now, I think it's great for those record producers, writer's, singers, over-seas missionaries, etc. to do what they do. That's where they are supposed to be.
But I don't think I should beat myself up because that's not where I am.
God gave us all different gifts. If He were to have given us all the same one, gosh, how boring would that be?
Mother Theresa lived in poverty. She didn't own a car, she wore the same clothes all the time, she didn't have a record deal. She wasn't "successful" according to this world.
She served her God to the fullest. She put herself aside for others.
So yes, she was faithful. But, who says she wasn't successful as well?
I would say that Mother Theresa and the like are more successful because they are faithful.
Look at all the lives they've touched. Look at the joy that they've brought to others and the comfort they've given. Look at the gift that they've shared. That's success right there, friends.
So, maybe God doesn't call us to be successful, just faithful. But in doing so, He blesses us, like always, and makes us successful through our faith.
He's a neat guy, that God.
So, I'm gonna live, you guys. And I'm gonna be happy. Maybe I won't be that wife or mother or author or editor that I used to dream of being. Dreams change. And that's okay. My dreams now are to be as joyful and loving and kind in all situations as possible.
I want to be a light. I want to share His gift. I want to be blessing to Him. I want to be successful in my faith.
That's enough for me.
"He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" and, I know He will. He'll continue to bless me when I least expect Him too. He'll make dreams I didn't even know that I had, come true. He'll make me successful.
I just need to be faithful.
Monday, August 3, 2009
You may think I'm crazy...
Well, for as much as I love to write and talk, I'm terrible at this whole blogging thing! Yikes. It's been a looooong time. Here's the update:
I did it! I finally moved myself to Texas. It's been a goal of mine for sometime now, but I have just been waiting on God's timing. (I have come to find in the past that His timing is WAY better than mine.)
So, here I am. For those of you who ask if I like it, the answer is...YES! I am loving it. I am having a blast with all of my friends here. There is plenty to do. And I just love being somewhere new.
Yes, I miss my friends and family back home terribly. I'm not that horrible. But, I know that they understand( and I am so thankful for their love and support!) and are happy for me.
For those of you who are wondering about my job situation...NO, I still not have found a job that I want. I am, however, currently working at a Montessori School and am enjoying it. The kids are absolutely hilarious!
There are times that I get discouraged about the job thing. I am so used to having jobs just fall into my lap and this is definately not the case here. I have been so blessed in the past to have had the job opportunities that I had and I realize now that I totally took them for granted.
I have become AMAZING at interviews though! ha! I go on them all the time and get more and more comfortable with each one. This is kind of frustrating though, because it never turns into a job. BUT, I know that God is holding the perfect job at the perfect time for me and that I need to remain patient and faithful(not my best attributes, I must admit). I know that God is teaching me patience and trust at this time and I will allow Him to do so.
Some people think that I'm crazy for moving down here without a job. I'm totally aware of this. They think that it was stupid or bad planning or whatever. And they will just have to think that. I can't change their minds. But I will say this: I have prayed and prayed about this decision for 2 years now and I found peace about it. I know that God doesn't work according to our plans but to His. I feel so good about this move. I would have been crazy not to move. I feel like I am growing and learning so much. I am learning how to be positive and thankful in the toughest/craziest situations. He continues to bless me each day, and I have no idea why.
For example, part of "the plan" was to move to Desoto to a fairly nice house and pay quite a bit in rent. I would be closer to most of my friends in Desoto so I didn't mind paying the amount. However, I now have the opportunity to live in Waxahachie in a much nicer home for less rent. Although, I am a little farther from the friends, this is still a huge blessing because I don't have to be in such a hurry to make a LOT of money! ha! Things like that keep happening. Even though I worry, God always works the situation out for the best.
I have found a church that I absolutely love! The people are so wonderful! God is truly in our midst everytime we gather. I am uplifted each new week!
God is good. He is helping me to grow in my faith more and more, which is just what I want and need.
My dad and I recently watched a movie called "Faith Like Potatoes" and I highly recommend it. It is about a farmer in South Africa and his journey in his faith. It is absolutely incredible. During the film he recites the verse in 2 Chronicles 7:14 which says "If my people, who call on my name, will humble themselves and pray, I will hear them and heal their land." Because of this man's faith in God and his faith in prayer, amazing things happened for him. No, it wasn't all sunny days for him, but even in the most trying of times, God blessed him. This helped me to realize that my situation isn't that bad. I am so blessed. Everything is perfect except for the job thing, and I truly believe that will work out!
So, I will just continue to call on His wonderful name and humble myself and walk in the light and know that I can't go wrong.
So yeah, maybe I am crazy, but I'm happy!
(Oh yeah, and thanks Steph for the words of encouragement! You are just another one of the blessings that God has sent my way!)
I did it! I finally moved myself to Texas. It's been a goal of mine for sometime now, but I have just been waiting on God's timing. (I have come to find in the past that His timing is WAY better than mine.)
So, here I am. For those of you who ask if I like it, the answer is...YES! I am loving it. I am having a blast with all of my friends here. There is plenty to do. And I just love being somewhere new.
Yes, I miss my friends and family back home terribly. I'm not that horrible. But, I know that they understand( and I am so thankful for their love and support!) and are happy for me.
For those of you who are wondering about my job situation...NO, I still not have found a job that I want. I am, however, currently working at a Montessori School and am enjoying it. The kids are absolutely hilarious!
There are times that I get discouraged about the job thing. I am so used to having jobs just fall into my lap and this is definately not the case here. I have been so blessed in the past to have had the job opportunities that I had and I realize now that I totally took them for granted.
I have become AMAZING at interviews though! ha! I go on them all the time and get more and more comfortable with each one. This is kind of frustrating though, because it never turns into a job. BUT, I know that God is holding the perfect job at the perfect time for me and that I need to remain patient and faithful(not my best attributes, I must admit). I know that God is teaching me patience and trust at this time and I will allow Him to do so.
Some people think that I'm crazy for moving down here without a job. I'm totally aware of this. They think that it was stupid or bad planning or whatever. And they will just have to think that. I can't change their minds. But I will say this: I have prayed and prayed about this decision for 2 years now and I found peace about it. I know that God doesn't work according to our plans but to His. I feel so good about this move. I would have been crazy not to move. I feel like I am growing and learning so much. I am learning how to be positive and thankful in the toughest/craziest situations. He continues to bless me each day, and I have no idea why.
For example, part of "the plan" was to move to Desoto to a fairly nice house and pay quite a bit in rent. I would be closer to most of my friends in Desoto so I didn't mind paying the amount. However, I now have the opportunity to live in Waxahachie in a much nicer home for less rent. Although, I am a little farther from the friends, this is still a huge blessing because I don't have to be in such a hurry to make a LOT of money! ha! Things like that keep happening. Even though I worry, God always works the situation out for the best.
I have found a church that I absolutely love! The people are so wonderful! God is truly in our midst everytime we gather. I am uplifted each new week!
God is good. He is helping me to grow in my faith more and more, which is just what I want and need.
My dad and I recently watched a movie called "Faith Like Potatoes" and I highly recommend it. It is about a farmer in South Africa and his journey in his faith. It is absolutely incredible. During the film he recites the verse in 2 Chronicles 7:14 which says "If my people, who call on my name, will humble themselves and pray, I will hear them and heal their land." Because of this man's faith in God and his faith in prayer, amazing things happened for him. No, it wasn't all sunny days for him, but even in the most trying of times, God blessed him. This helped me to realize that my situation isn't that bad. I am so blessed. Everything is perfect except for the job thing, and I truly believe that will work out!
So, I will just continue to call on His wonderful name and humble myself and walk in the light and know that I can't go wrong.
So yeah, maybe I am crazy, but I'm happy!
(Oh yeah, and thanks Steph for the words of encouragement! You are just another one of the blessings that God has sent my way!)
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
ch ch ch changes!
times they are a' changin. Current mood: blessed
yikes. july is coming up quick kids. which means i'm moving soon. eesh. i'm so super stoked about moving to texas. i've always wanted to live in the dallas area. not sure why. i guess it has something to do with the fact that there's always something going on and something to do. it's completely different from what i'm used to. i know, i know, it's only four hours away, but when you've never lived more than 15 minutes away from friends and family, that's quite a change! ha! (thailand and croatia for 6 weeks are total exceptions. :))it's gonna be such an awesome adventure...new job. new house. new friends. new everything. so, yeah, i'm excited.but...i'm also kinda scared out of my mind. because....new job. new house. new friends. new EVERYTHING!!! ha! i'm kind of taking a leap of faith with this whole moving thing. this move is something that i've been thinking about and praying about for such a long time. i've felt the urge to make some changes in my life but wasn't ever sure when to make them. i wanted to know that i was changing because it was a "God thing" and not a "selfish Carrie thing". and God has blessed me with a peace that i've only known a few times before. it's just time, you know? when people ask me why i'm moving, i say, "because i can". i know that sounds like a smart-arse question but in all seriousness, that's why i'm doing it. i'm finally at a point in my life where i'm ready to jump. to just let go and do something that i've always wanted to do (and most people think i can't) and just go for it. i'm ready to believe whole-heartedly that i can do all things as long as i keep Him first. i'm working on getting a job that i love. something that allows me to use my degree. something that makes me happy. i read a quote the other day about change. "All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another."in a way, i agree. i agree that there is meloncholy. that there is a bit of sadness. i mean, i'm moving away from everything i've always known.but i don't believe that i have to completely leave behind(die to) everything, just to go onto this new part of my life. it's because of the people and experiences of my past that i am able to make this change. they have given me the courage, strength and desire to go. it's because of the God that i serve and that will always be with me that i can move on. yes, it's going to be so hard to be away from family that are so normally close to me. and yes, it's going to be tough to leave behind a job and co-workers that have changed my life and helped me to grow. and of course, it's going to be terribly difficult to be away from those friends that have loved me and changed my life for the better.but, i found another quote that i do agree with. one explains how i feel. "Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”i don't believe that there is a place in this world that i can go that i will ever be too far from my friends and family to come back to them if needed. God has blessed my life(more than i deserve) with an amazing family and friends that are like family. they are a gift that i do not take for granted and will not let go of. who knows how long i'll be gone. maybe i'll stay there for the rest of my life. maybe i'll move across the country in a few years. maybe i'll decide i want to come back to western oklahoma eventually. who knows? you see, that's the beauty of this life that we have been given. we have so many awesome options and choices to make. we can do what we want. we can be what we desire. we can adapt and change. i do know this, though. no matter where i go, what i do, who i become, i will always have that deep faith in my Father. that hunger to do His will. that love that never ends, never fails. i will always be His child, His servant. i will go when He says go. and i will stay when He says stay. God has been so amazing. He has never failed me; never let me down. so even though, i'm a little apprehensive about the near future, i'm just going to trust Him. i'm just going to leap. because i know, He'll be right there to catch me.
yikes. july is coming up quick kids. which means i'm moving soon. eesh. i'm so super stoked about moving to texas. i've always wanted to live in the dallas area. not sure why. i guess it has something to do with the fact that there's always something going on and something to do. it's completely different from what i'm used to. i know, i know, it's only four hours away, but when you've never lived more than 15 minutes away from friends and family, that's quite a change! ha! (thailand and croatia for 6 weeks are total exceptions. :))it's gonna be such an awesome adventure...new job. new house. new friends. new everything. so, yeah, i'm excited.but...i'm also kinda scared out of my mind. because....new job. new house. new friends. new EVERYTHING!!! ha! i'm kind of taking a leap of faith with this whole moving thing. this move is something that i've been thinking about and praying about for such a long time. i've felt the urge to make some changes in my life but wasn't ever sure when to make them. i wanted to know that i was changing because it was a "God thing" and not a "selfish Carrie thing". and God has blessed me with a peace that i've only known a few times before. it's just time, you know? when people ask me why i'm moving, i say, "because i can". i know that sounds like a smart-arse question but in all seriousness, that's why i'm doing it. i'm finally at a point in my life where i'm ready to jump. to just let go and do something that i've always wanted to do (and most people think i can't) and just go for it. i'm ready to believe whole-heartedly that i can do all things as long as i keep Him first. i'm working on getting a job that i love. something that allows me to use my degree. something that makes me happy. i read a quote the other day about change. "All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another."in a way, i agree. i agree that there is meloncholy. that there is a bit of sadness. i mean, i'm moving away from everything i've always known.but i don't believe that i have to completely leave behind(die to) everything, just to go onto this new part of my life. it's because of the people and experiences of my past that i am able to make this change. they have given me the courage, strength and desire to go. it's because of the God that i serve and that will always be with me that i can move on. yes, it's going to be so hard to be away from family that are so normally close to me. and yes, it's going to be tough to leave behind a job and co-workers that have changed my life and helped me to grow. and of course, it's going to be terribly difficult to be away from those friends that have loved me and changed my life for the better.but, i found another quote that i do agree with. one explains how i feel. "Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”i don't believe that there is a place in this world that i can go that i will ever be too far from my friends and family to come back to them if needed. God has blessed my life(more than i deserve) with an amazing family and friends that are like family. they are a gift that i do not take for granted and will not let go of. who knows how long i'll be gone. maybe i'll stay there for the rest of my life. maybe i'll move across the country in a few years. maybe i'll decide i want to come back to western oklahoma eventually. who knows? you see, that's the beauty of this life that we have been given. we have so many awesome options and choices to make. we can do what we want. we can be what we desire. we can adapt and change. i do know this, though. no matter where i go, what i do, who i become, i will always have that deep faith in my Father. that hunger to do His will. that love that never ends, never fails. i will always be His child, His servant. i will go when He says go. and i will stay when He says stay. God has been so amazing. He has never failed me; never let me down. so even though, i'm a little apprehensive about the near future, i'm just going to trust Him. i'm just going to leap. because i know, He'll be right there to catch me.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Proud Aunty
so, i don't really consider myself a "braggert". but when it comes to my nephews, i will BRAG all day. i'm just so proud of my nephews. they are such good boys. they are kind, caring, selfless, compassionate, giving...they are just good boys!if you know me and my family, you know that two of my nephews, dusty and lance, are both in iraq along with their uncle and cousin(who are both amazing too, i must say). whatever your opinion on the war, i would certainly hope that you will not disrespect our men and women in uniform. they are doing their jobs and doing them well. they are putting themselves aside for the time being and giving all they have. please, please, respect that. i have my opinions and if you have ever had a conversation with me you know what they are. so, i'm not going to jam them down your throat in this blog. i just wanted to take this time to tell you how wonderful my boys are. instead of me continuing to ramble, i will just share with you an email that i received from dusty not too long ago. his opinion and thoughts matter much more than mine. he's a special boy.(and so is lance! can't leave him out!) i hope you can see just how special he is through this small email. it speaks volumes to me.
"Hey Aunty how are you? I'm doing fine kinda busy but not too bad. Its election time here so kinda cool to witness. Its so funny how my opinions of this war have changed. Now dont get me wrong Iraq sucks, but i have got to be apart of doing things to better this country.We as Americans are actually trying so hard to help them, they have just been corrupt for so long its gonna take a while. Elections seem to be the worst part of it. People have a hard time excepting Democracy, but they will. Other than that all is well. I was thinking the other day, could you imagine us not being able to use our imaginations to play when we were kids and be whoever we wanted. People our age here never got that, but kids like mine will. That is Gods hand i just know it Carrie. He is everywhere. Love, Dusty"
now, if you were me, wouldn't you be proud? i hope so.
"Hey Aunty how are you? I'm doing fine kinda busy but not too bad. Its election time here so kinda cool to witness. Its so funny how my opinions of this war have changed. Now dont get me wrong Iraq sucks, but i have got to be apart of doing things to better this country.We as Americans are actually trying so hard to help them, they have just been corrupt for so long its gonna take a while. Elections seem to be the worst part of it. People have a hard time excepting Democracy, but they will. Other than that all is well. I was thinking the other day, could you imagine us not being able to use our imaginations to play when we were kids and be whoever we wanted. People our age here never got that, but kids like mine will. That is Gods hand i just know it Carrie. He is everywhere. Love, Dusty"
now, if you were me, wouldn't you be proud? i hope so.
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